I wanted to write a poem
to this chick I met
dancing in the dark
to this band I'd never heard of

I knew her about a week
knew she had a lesson
we went to San Francisco
and every moment was perfect
then I got drunk and acted a fool

I said a lot of I love yous
I don't remember how many
or all the other words I said
(though I know I talked a lot about her cats)
before

she walked along the beach
alone
hoping a mermaid would swim her away
as I tried to swim in the hotel pool
and nearly drown

I wanted to write a poem to her
not a love poem
but
a poem of realization
because
she granted me some realization
of what this poem could have been about -

I realized too late of course
but, then again, I was blind
I'd been taught the lesson before her,
more subtle

I learned that something I'd been chasing
obsessed with since my childhood
was something I never understood

sure, there's the
heart swelling
teary eyes
missing you
nights alone
smiles and frowns
laying downs
making loves

and
sure, there's the big picture
but
the beauty is in the details
the unspoken knowing
the fact that you really never need to say
I love you
you just know,
believe

I believed she would teach me something
she did
I'm grateful

I'm alone again
but one step closer

thanks